it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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