so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
