My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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