just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
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Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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