Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
