Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
