I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just threw up on my dentist
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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