My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
