plz talk dirty to me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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