found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm just crazy horny about you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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