Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
