He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
