She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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