why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we're making bets on your personal life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
