note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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