I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
