He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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