$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
