Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
