He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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