I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
