I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
