remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
