i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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