1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
