my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
