I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
