Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
