is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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