Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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