I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
