what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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