Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
