It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
