I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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