I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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