the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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