God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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