i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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