Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
