i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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