No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize