She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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