The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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