everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
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I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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