We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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