need another drink. this is the easiest way
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This baby is an asshole
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
