It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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