party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
