He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
