problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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