haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
