Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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