If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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