I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
