He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
