Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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