Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
