If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
