only you would photoshop your dick
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
