i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
