U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
