Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
